What Is Grief, Really?

What is grief, really?

Grief is something most of us will experience, but understanding what’s actually happening to us can make it feel a little less confusing.

In the first episode of Life After Grief, we’re starting with the basics and taking a closer look at what grief actually is, both through research and the human experience of living through it.

In this episode, we’ll explore:

• The difference between grief, bereavement, and mourning
• Acute grief and integrated grief
• Why grief doesn’t follow a straight line
• How grief can look and feel different from person to person
• Why understanding grief can help us navigate it with more compassion

This is just the beginning of a deeper conversation about loss, healing, life transitions, and learning how to live alongside grief, one step at a time.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hi, it's your grieving friend Indigo, and welcome to Life After Grief. Now, before we dive into today's episode, I wanted to talk about something because if you've been following me for a while, you're probably wondering wait, what happened to Tea Truth and Taboo and Tea Between Timelines? Well, the answer is it's on hold. And not because I'm not going to get back to the podcast or create more episodes. It's because they're on hold due to something unexpected that happened while I was healing. I healed so hard. Just kidding. Through creating those podcasts, writing, researching, and honestly just trying to understand myself, I discovered I couldn't stop coming back to one subject. Grief. Not just my grief, grief itself. I became so curious. What actually is grief? Why does it affect us so differently? Why does it completely change some people's lives? Why aren't we taught more about it? The more I researched, the more I realized I wasn't just trying to understand grief. I was trying to understand myself. So instead of putting pressure on myself to keep creating what I thought I was supposed to create, I decided to follow my curiosity. And it led me here to Life After Grief. This podcast isn't me pretending to have life figured out. It's actually the quite opposite. And I'm learning alongside all of you. Every article I read, every psychology book, every research paper teaches me something new. My goal is to take what I'm learning and put it into everyday language because let's be honest, research articles aren't always easy to read or understand. Sometimes all we need are words and labels for what we're feeling, not because labels define us, but because understanding ourselves can be the beginning of healing. So today I thought we'd start with one simple question. What is grief? And before I started researching, I honestly thought grief was only about death. I thought grief meant losing someone you loved. While that's true, it's only one part of the picture. What I've learned is that grief is our natural response to losing someone or something that mattered to us. It's our emotional, mental, physical, and sometimes even spiritual response to loss. That loss could be the death of someone you love, a friendship ending, a breakup, a divorce, changing careers, moving away, losing your health, a dream that never happened, or even grieving an old version of yourself. Every meaningful loss asks us to adapt. That's grief. And that's why this podcast won't only talk about death. We're starting there because that's where my curiosity began. But eventually we'll talk about grieving friendships, grieving relationships, career changes, life transitions, family dynamics, identity, and grieving old versions of ourselves. Because grief shows up in so many different ways throughout our lives. One of the first things I learned was that bereavement and grief aren't actually the same thing. Bereavement is specifically the loss of someone through death. And grief is our response to that loss. And grief doesn't only happen after death, it can happen after any meaningful loss. Then there's mourning. Mourning is how we express our grief. Some people cry, some people journal, some people become quiet, while others celebrate someone's life. There isn't one right way to mourn. And another thing I learned was something called normal grief. What is normal grief? Was what was my first reaction. I was like, is that even a thing? But the article wasn't saying that there's no right or wrong way to grieve. It was saying grief itself is a normal human response to losing someone important. Normal grief doesn't mean your pain isn't real. It doesn't mean you should be over it. It simply means grief is a natural response to love and loss. Then I learned about acute grief. Acute grief is that raw period after a significant loss. Researchers describe it as the time when grief can feel overwhelming. You might experience intense sadness, longing, yearning, difficulty concentrating, changes in sleep, crying unexpectedly, feeling emotionally overwhelmed, thinking about the person constantly, wondering how life is supposed to continue without them. So reading all of this helped me understand why grief can feel so consuming. Then I came across something I had never heard before: integrated grief. When I first read those words, I honestly thought it meant getting over someone. But that's not what it means. Integrated grief doesn't mean forgetting about the person. It doesn't mean loving them less. It doesn't mean pretending you're okay. It means loss slowly becomes part of your life story. You still miss them, you still love them, you still have moments where grief shows up, but you also begin making room for life again. That was such a beautiful way for me to understand it. And another thing that really stood out to me was learning that grief isn't linear. It doesn't move in a straight line. The article also talked about grief reawakening, where it can be reawakened by a certain event: a birthday, a holiday, anniversaries, a song, a smell, a place, a photograph, even a random day. Something reminds you of that person, and suddenly your grief feels close again. And that doesn't necessarily mean you've gone backwards. It just means that grief has a way of reminding us how deeply we love. As I've continued researching, I've realized this podcast isn't just helping me understand grief. It's helping me understand people. And maybe that's the whole point. My hope is that this podcast becomes a place where we learn together, where we ask questions, where we become curious, and where we stop judging ourselves for what we're feeling. And where we realize maybe we're not as alone as we thought. So if this episode taught me anything, it's that sometimes healing doesn't start with having the answers. Sometimes it starts with finally having the words. And that's what I hope this podcast gives you. Because creating all those other projects and podcasts helped me find my voice, help me understand myself through grief, and what way that I wanted to move through the world with the way that I think and the way that I view the world and see things. And not only that, I hope it gives other people a little hope that there is life after grief. So thank you so much for listening to the very first episode of Life After Grief. Now, before we go, I just want to say that this podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm simply a grieving friend who's passionate about learning, researching, and understanding grief alongside you. I'm not a licensed therapist, psychologist, physician, professional coach, or mental health professional. This podcast is not intended to diagnose, treat, or substitute for the advice of a physician, licensed therapist, psychotherapist, psychologist, or any other qualified healthcare professional. If you're struggling with your mental health or your grief, please reach out to a qualified professional. And thank you so much for listening. I'll see y'all on the next one. Bye.